It seems like the Proverbs 31 Woman is talked about (and let’s be real here, often obsessed in becoming) so much more than the Titus 2 Woman. Both the Proverbs 31 Woman and the Titus 2 Woman are excellent descriptions of how God designed women to love and serve their families, communities, and the Church body at large in ways that most honor The Lord. And yet, I have noticed that the Titus 2 Woman only gets mentioned when discussions are the likes of “how to disciple young women when you are an old lady” or “learn to be a Titius 2 Woman if you’re retired, kids grown, and trying to find a new purpose to your life.” Yes, Titus 2:3-4 clearly says that the older women are to teach the younger women. Does that give us a natural inclination to view the Titus 2 Woman one-dimensionally? In other words, is it less exciting to think about how to be a Titus 2 Woman because women under a certain age do not ‘really’ have to learn about the Titus 2 Woman until they’re closer to a particular stage of life? Is the Proverbs 31 Woman considered the young women’s role model and the Titus 2 Woman the older women’s role model? Before we explore this further, let me tell you my personal story…
If you didn’t already know this about me (you can read my full salvation story here: https://solagratialife.com/the-sola-gratia-life-my-story…/ ), I was saved when I was 17. Then all through my 20s and early 30s I became a “I just love Jesus, I don’t need church” types. I didn’t have any female friends because I couldn’t bring myself to trust women because of my mother and every female I befriended ended up being a fair-weathered gal pal rather than a true friend — my friendship was based on convenience or I met some need they had and when life got too busy or I no longer was needed or if I really needed them or they saw something in me unfavorable, I’d never hear from them again. Then my fiancé at the time committed suicide and the friends I thought would be there for me ostracized me. My own parents didn’t even know what to do with me at year 3 of continued grieving and depression since the passing of my fiancé. In that lonely pit Jesus in His mercy and grace met me in that pit and the truth of His Word made me whole and the desire to live a holy life unto Him was set ablaze. Then I found the church that I became a member of and met women who I could say I’d trust with my life. Some were my age, many were in their 50s-80s. They genuinely loved me where I was at and all my brokenness. They made themselves so available to me. They gave me resources, their time & company, they picked up their phones and texted or called, they opened their homes to me. Even when I tried to push some of them away, they just showed their love even more without being pushy. And when I came out of that dark season, they celebrated with me and continued to encourage me… their love and support never wavered and their involvement in my life was consistent. These friendships were blessings to my heart, but more than that, the nuances of growth that resulted from God using these women to mature and humble me has been more valuable than anything on this earth. Since moving to Colorado, distance naturally makes it challenging, if not impossible, to continue fellowshipping and learning from my support system back in Florida. However, I befriended one amazing lady in her 70’s that has the same beautiful, Christ-like heart that my Sisters back “at home” have. The wisdom I glean from her and the lovely, comforting friendship that we share is such a valuable gift from God. I hope that one day I also can be a woman that younger women look up to and impacts the next generation for the Lord.
I lovingly urge you, fellow Sisters, to pray for God, in His timing, to surround yourself with women of all ages who love God, love His Word, and have a desire to live it out. Particularly, seek out a woman or group of women who are at least a decade older than you to mentor you. If you are in your Silver or Golden years, seek to be a mentor to as many young women as you have the spiritual and emotional bandwidth for and continually ask the Lord for more capacity in your energy and schedule to be this woman to the younger generation. If you are still in your youth or even (I guess I am technically in this age group now, yikes!) approaching middle age, the same way you would prepare to be a young wife, mother, homemaker, etc. you/we ought to be preparing to be a Titus 2 Woman, a woman of wisdom, discernment, humility; a woman who proves herself as an experienced Proverbs 31 Woman — not by boasting, but by the track record visible in the fruit of her hands and heart in her home and community. If the Proverbs 31 Woman is a model for how a woman should glorify the Lord in her private home life, the Titus 2 Woman is a model for how a woman ought to be in her public or outer life to the glory of the Lord. In other words, all women of any age should pray for guidance and wisdom as we endeavor to be both the Proverbs 31 and the Titus 2 Woman throughout our life.
We are not to look for just any professing Christian woman to be a mentor, and being a Titus 2 Woman to a younger woman than yourself is quite specifically described. God does have a standard for this kind of woman. The Bible tells us exactly what qualifies a woman to mentor the younger generation. Please note, everything described below is not an expectation for any woman to do perfectly at all times, but if she/you are consistently (more often than not) bearing good spiritual fruit in life, passing down your knowledge, experiences, and love to the next generation of women is likely something you should prayerfully seek to do. This also is not to say women have to be just alike in personality, interests, or ideas of biblical femininity (we don’t all need to wear frilly dresses everyday to be feminine — I practice martial arts and train with various firearms — more on that topic another time). Not all of us ‘must’ be full-time homemakers as God places each of us in varying circumstances at different seasons for His purposes. But if we want to be biblical, we must be unified on what the Bible clearly states is prescriptive for every believer. We must apply biblical truth to our lives, however our lives look at the moment, as God uses the gifts and unique skills He loaned out to us to the building up of His Body for His glory.
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A Biblical Mentor (Titus 2 Woman):
Does her part to maintain a household environment that is safe, comfortable, loving, productive, peaceful, life-giving…
Proverbs 14:1 says “The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down”.
Is knowledgeable of scripture and sound doctrine…
1 Timothy 4:6 says “If you put these things before the brothers, you will be a good servant of Christ Jesus, being trained in the words of the faith and of the good doctrine that you have followed.”
Speaks from the wisdom of her life experience with firm standing in the truth of scripture but also with love and grace…
1 Corinthians 13:1-13 says “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal”
Cheerfully, without resentment, obeys the Pastors and Elders of her church so long as they are above reproach…
Hebrews 13:17 says “Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.”
All she does and says is unto the Lord and lives her life in gratitude of God…
Colossians 3:17 says “And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”
As co-heir with her husband, an equal partner with equal dignity and value, she is simultaneously submissive to her husband as honoring of the Lord’s design…
Ephesians 5:22 says “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (This verse also applies to widows and single-mothers because no matter what our marital status is on earth we are the Bride of Christ)
Her beauty radiates from a gentle and quiet spirit; this is true biblical, feminine strength; at her core she is tranquil, grounded, gracious, self-controlled, and centered on Christ…
1 Peter 3:4 says “But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.”
And pretty much all of Titus 2, which talks about a believer who teaches according to sound doctrine, a woman who is not a gossip nor a drunkard. She has empathy and patience for the hearts she speaks into. She is a worker of the home (or if she must work outside the home she is submissive and agreeable to her employer but makes her responsibilities at home a high priority over her job — no working past business hours), submissive to her own husband, is respectful, has integrity, is dignified. The Titus 2 Woman lives her life for holiness not for the world. All of this to say, she is to conduct herself with pure motives as to bring glory to the Lord and The Gospel, the “doctrine of God Our Saviour” (see Titus 2:10)
And finally, when we are being edified by such a woman, we must receive it humbly and prayerfully…
1 Peter 5:5 says “Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.””