I love my life. I love my husband, my friends, my job, etc. Then why, after incessant complaining about this and that for who-knows-how-long, my bewildered husband asked me, “do you hate your life?”
When I realized that I have developed a discontented heart; it hit me like a ton of bricks. Discontentment isn’t like anger or fear, where they charge at you in a fury head on. Discontentment is a sneaky little goblin that sews tiny seeds here and there: my body’s not what it used to be, my husband is not romantic or thoughtful enough, there’s not enough time in the day to do everything I need, why are the countertops in the kitchen always sticky even after I wiped them a dozen times? I want that and not this… you get the idea. If we do not stay alert and humbly ask God to search our hearts, those seeds of discontentment can develop into full on bitterness in our hearts and turn us into the contentious woman that Proverbs 21 and Proverbs 27 warns about. Do I want to sacrifice the health, joy, and peace of our home, marriage and family for the temporary comfort of giving in to our fleshly desire to indulge discontented thoughts and speech? It was a hard question that I had to ask myself when I saw the destruction I was unwittingly causing to my household with my pattern of negativity, pessimism, and nitpicking day in and day out. Instead of challenging myself with that question, I could have gotten defensive I suppose, but love does not insist on its own way (1 Corinthians 13:5). Prideful flesh insists on its own way and feeds that sneaky goblin of discontentment and bitterness. Pride is a dangerous idol and caused the fall of angels and of mankind. Pride can demolish even the strongest of homes and divide the most solid of marriages. Pride can devastate either new or rocky marriages. Pride creates in us an unwillingness to surrender our will for the Lord’s, our ways for His ways. But only if we allow Pride to turn us into fools.
“The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.” (Proverbs 14:1)
After my husband got my attention by asking me if I hated my life, he proceeded to initiate a serious talk with me about how my countenance and my words have had a bad effect on his heart. Watching his wife walk around “so unhappy” was putting an extra burden on him that was making everything else seem so much more heavy — work stress, finances, and all else. As head of the household, he is already doubly accountable to God for the way he stewards everything not just in his life, but in the lives and hearts of every member of his household; I was inadvertently making him feel like he wasn’t doing his job. Don’t get me wrong, where there are legitimate concerns and needs, as Helper of our husbands it is our duty to voice things that would significantly impact the household. As Head, it is the husband’s duty to wholeheartedly and prayerfully consider those things and take decisive action with the well-being of his household in mind. Additionally, there will be seasons where tough discussions and tense feelings are a frequent reality. But created problems, gripes, and worries should not be a permanent way of life. If husbands are the backbone of the family, wives are the heart. Husbands ought to provide stability (physical and emotional), protection/security (also physical and emotional), and family vision to the household. Wives, complementarily, ought to provide an environment of joy, peace, support, and rest. At the center of this is the love of Christ, pursuit of holiness/righteousness with mature desires and purity of heart, and reverance (aka obedience) of His Word. With that said, here are 15 verses to help you battle a discontented heart:
- 2 Timothy 2:22 “Flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.“
- Hebrews 13:5 “Keep your life free from love [obession, being preoccupied] of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
- Matthew 6:33 “But seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
- 1 Thessalonians 5:18 “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ.”
- Romans 8:28 “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”
- Titus 2:11-12 “For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.”
- Colossians 3:2-4 “Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are of earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory.”
- 1 Timothy 6:6-10 “But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.”
- Luke 12:15 “Then He said to them, “Beware, and be on your guard against every form of greed; for not even when one has an abundance does his life consist of his possessions.”
- 1 Corinthians 10:9-10 “We must not put Christ to the test, as some of them did and were destroyed by serpents, nor grumble, as some of them did and were destroyed by the Destroyer.”
- Ecclesiastes 4:8 “There was a certain man without a dependent, having neither a son nor a brother, yet there was no end to all his labor. Indeed, his eyes were not satisfied with riches and he never asked, “And for whom am I laboring and depriving myself of pleasure?” This too is vanity and it is a grievous task.”
- Psalm 106:24-26 Then they despised the pleasant land; They did not believe in His word, But grumbled in their tents; they did not listen to the voice of the Lord. therefore He swore to them that He would cast them down in the wilderness,”
- Numbers 14:26-29 speaks of generally the same thing as Numbers 16:41 but Numbers 16:41 specifically sums up the consequence of blaming others (which is essentially blaming God) for their complaints and problems: “But on the next day all the congregation of the people of Israel grumbled against Moses and against Aaron, saying, “You have killed the people of the Lord.“
- Proverbs 27:20 describes the realm of Death and compares it to Mankind’s depravity and lusts of the flesh: “Sheol and Abaddon are never satisfied, Nor are the eyes of man ever satisfied.” (thank God Almighty that in Christ, our eyes are being made more pure as we grow closer to The Lord in grace and knowledge)
- And the greatest commandment which simply tells us not to be idolaters, worshipping anything else but God: Matthew 22:37 “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. “